I hadn’t given it much thought until I had to stare it in the face. Parts of this story I intentionally left out of my book (Med Free Bipolar, Amazon) because I was not ready to share, but as I see more and more people participating in Yoga, even churches, Christian retreats and conferences, I want to share my experience.
(This is my experience shared in love and not an invitation to attack me. Video version of some of this story on Facebook)
In the months leading up to my worst spiritual encounter to date in October of 2011, I had been feeling well and completely whole mentally. I had decided to more aggressively do research for my book: a version I thought would look different than the one I wrote. It was going to contain information on all the alternative modalities that are available to- day to treat mental illness naturally. I was going to try all of them that did not seem too far ‘off-Christian-based’. Med Free Bipolar was also going to be written anonymously. But instead of finding improvements to my mental health with each treatment I started…I started presenting psych symptoms for the first time in five years! My mental health started to decline, but in a newly strange and terrifying way. All the “text- book” symptoms were there, but in a way that was not familiar to me in how they had presented before I ever got well. I even started tracking symptoms again, something I had not needed to do in years. I sought help and considered going back on meds, seeing a counselor and clinic with med-management as backup for the first time in five years.
I was getting sick, very sick, despite my well-developed med free methods. Then, weird things started happening. My husband was having dreams of demons and my children all started having night terrors at once. One life-changing night, it was like a massive swirl of darkness filled me. Rage, mixed moods, rapid cycling, and visions of death filled me. It was unlike anything I had experienced before, it was so much worse, more intense, and I wanted to throw myself out the window to stop the torture! I had never felt such extreme states before. I went upstairs to be alone lest I hurt someone or something. The emotional and physical pain escalated and crescendoed. I stared in the mirror but the eyes were not blue like mine, they were all black and unfamiliar. I was scared. I grasped at every “remedy” I knew. I swallowed choline and inositol, sprayed lavender and tried to do the yoga child’s pose on the floor I had learned at the YMCA recently.
I wanted something, anything to relieve the torture going on in my head and body. I hit the button on the radio but heard no music coming from it, only the screams in my head followed by deafening silence. It felt like my ears were stopped up, like something was stabbing at my eardrums from the inside, or stuffed with cotton. Then something dark swam and swirled before my eyes and the room went black. I could NOT see, and I thought I had gone blind instantly. Falling to my knees I leaned forward into child’s pose. I held my hands upright in front of my face but nothing but blackness was seen through my open eyes. I was blind and deaf! Bipolar had never felt like this before, even in my complete psychosis in 1999.
Finally: exhausted, spent, desperate, and I don’t know why, as I had not prayed in a very long time, I screamed: “God, Jesus, Jesus, Help Me, help me PLEASE!” I do not know if I even meant it, least of all expected it to work! Instantly, the blackness dissipated just like it had come on: black swirls exited my eyes and I watched as they dissipated into the ceiling! And all the pain and symptoms disappeared instantly. The swirls of rage, anger, hatred, physical suffering, and mixed episodes were gone! My eyes were working, seeing and my ears unstopped. Immediately I heard a song fill the room, clear and actually quite loud, the volume turned up high in my desperate attempt to hear the radio when I had turned it on. It was a song I had never heard before. I felt like the words were directed into me, filling me, as if the artist had written them just for this moment, just for me. “Be still, there is a Healer His love is deeper than the sea His Mercy is unfailing His arms, a fortress for the weak (Chris Tomlin)”. The next instant I was taken into a vision, but it is a different vision that I want to share this time, one the Lord showed me as to HOW all of this happened in the first place, a vision I did not publish in my book.
I preface this with: as you know, a vision is only a partial glimpse that God gives you into a subject. I asked God to show me what had opened doors in my life and I had a series of visions over time regarding that period of my life. A screen popped up (as if in my imagination but way more vivid) and I saw myself sitting in a “non-spiritual” yoga class I had only attended about twice at the local YMCA. It was just like it had been when I was actually there a couple months prior, same mat, same clothes, but it was like I was looking down on the room from above. As I sat on my mat, a bat-man-signal-like light emanated from the top of my head, then the Lord spoke to my heart and said “Yoga is bodily worship of idols and it yokes you to spirits seeking worship. It always has been and always will”. I then saw that the very poses attracted dark wisps of spirits who sought to be worshipped and signaled them that I was “open”. They were then entering my mind through the top of my head! I saw all this after the fact, but it was like I was seeing the real + the supernatural + from above, at the same time.
Romans 12:1-2 “Brothers and sisters, in view of all we have just shared about God’s compassion, I encourage you to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, dedicated to God and pleasing to him. This kind of worship is appropriate for you. Don’t become like the people of this world. Instead, change the way you think. Then you will always be able to determine what God really wants—what is good, pleasing, and perfect.”
I have had some other people tell me similar things and it is usually Christians who get REALLY defensive with me if I have ever said anything… so I don’t usually. Yoga, even just the few times I went, felt euphoric, like a drug. Even my son commented on how relaxed and happy I seemed after class. According to Purvi, a former Yogi Master, spirits entering the body will “chemically alter the system”, even making one feel high as if on a drug! It is a false peace, and one that comes with a high price!
Now, in my Brain Health Ministry clinic, I see client after client present symptoms of physical or mental illnesses never before experienced until “trying” yoga! One girl even had her first ever panic attack in her first every yoga class. Now any form of Yoga is something I will not have anything to do with. I have seen in the spiritual realm other things (like Reiki) that open doors to the enemy and my stance is just to draw a line in the sand for myself and warn others without judgement. I was shown in that vision that the direct cause of the spiritual doors opened in my home for my kids’ night terrors torment, my husband’s demonic encounters, and my rage-filled ‘bipolar episode’ and subsequent blinding by “dark entity wisps” were all caused by my attending a ‘harmless’, ‘non-spiritual’ yoga class at the YMCA (originally founded as a Christian organization)! It was the price I paid for participation, even though my intent was FAR from idol worship!
Spiritual, religious, quantum, and supernatural aspects regarding mental illness have long been debated. I believe both neurobiological and/or spiritual reasons exist for some people with mental illness. I have since learned of may people who were diagnosed with physical or mental illnesses after participating in any yoga, even “Christian Yoga” (an oxymoron), and other spiritual ramifications in their home or family. So what is Yoga?
Yoga IS Idol Worship, plain an simple. The physical “stretches” for exercise and health benefits cannot be separated from the spiritual. (For an in-depth study on this, see a litany of research by former Yogi: Purvi) Her viral YouTube videos are also a great wealth of this topic and confirm thousands of similar stories that she has received.
Not sure if “Holy Yoga”, or other “Christian Yoga’s” would have the same outcome as my experience above? Invite a Seer (someone who God has given the ability to use the eyes of their heart to see into the spiritual realm. “Unauthorized use of this is the ‘third eye’ sight, a counterfeit version of the Seer gift) or someone with a strong Gift of Discerning Spirits to come see what goes on “behind the scenes”… unfortunately, even demons can disguise as beings of light, so it takes the eyes of the heart to see from far above the lies.
See Blog Part ii for the “proof” and a great interview!
2 Corinthians 11:14-15 “And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness;whose end shall be according to their works.”
“My friends, you must keep away from idols.” (1 Corinthians 10:14)
More study on this topic:
Yoga Uncoiled (former Yoga Teacher)
“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God with your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
1 Timothy 4:1 “The Spirit says clearly that in later times some believers will desert the Christian faith. They will follow spirits that deceive, and they will believe the teachings of demons.”
1 Timothy 6:20-21 “Guard what God has entrusted to you. Avoid godless, foolish discussions with those who oppose you with their so-called knowledge. Some people have wandered from the faith by following such foolishness. May God’s grace be with you all.”
1 John 4:1 “Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.”
Hebrews 13:8-9 “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever! Do not be carried away by all sorts of strange teachings. For it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace, not ritual meals, which have never benefited those who participated in them.”
1 Corinthians 3:16 “Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?”